Hold Your Temper

There is a saying that reads: There is no situation so bad that you cannot make worse by losing your temper. How often have we been in situations where we made things worse by losing our tempers? How often have we seen this happening to others? How often have friendships been broken up because one party, or both, lost their cool and lashed out with their tongues and said things that could never been forgiven afterward? The newspapers are full to reports of wife beating and child abuse, which are unbelievable, yet they were committed by otherwise loving fathers and mothers.

Hold Your Temper

It is obvious to all of us that losing our tempers, instead of keeping cool is dangerous. Those who have lost their tempers have sometimes ruined lives – others’ and their own. A moment of anger has often made persons commit violent crimes. There are at least a few fathers who have been imprisoned because they have severely abused their children. Yet there is no denying that they do love their children very much. It is as if a demon had suddenly taken possession of them and made them do the unspeakable and then after the deed has been done, left the man to face the music. In quite a few cases, the offenders have confessed that they did not know what had made them do it.

It is obvious that keeping cool is a quality to be developed. It is a highly desirable quality to be able to be in a position where one never loses one’s cool. The question now arises: Do we have control over our tempers or is it something that cannot be helped? Can we really develop the art of keeping cool? Since some of us are bad tempered and some are cool, it is apparent that the ability to keep cool can be cultivated. Psychologists say that all our behavior is a result of conditioning. From the time we have been children; those of us who cannot keep cool have allowed ourselves to develop bad tempers. We have done this out of imitating the adults in our lives. In addition, it is true that only the behaviors that gives us pay offs are developed. Considered in this light, it is probably that when we lose our tempers and throw tantrums – as children – we received what we wanted. This would have reinforced the tendency to lose tempers and we would have carried this into adulthood until it became uncontrollable.

Based on this theory, we can develop an ability to keep cool. We could consciously reinforce keeping cool instead of blowing our tops. Whenever we manage to control our tempers we should reward ourselves. This reward need not be elaborate. In small situations, a mere invisible pat on our backs would also be a reward. In more serious situations, like when we keep cool and refuse to lose our tempers and kick that creep – like we are sorely tempted to – we could treat ourselves to an ice-cream or a movie. The mind soon learns that it is more fun to keep cool than to lose our cool. Soon the tendency to lose our cool becomes less and less and we become coolness itself.

The rewards of developing a calm and cool nature are many and we should aim very hard to develop it. History is full of great men who kept cool and earned the admiration of generations. It is well-known that a cool and controlled person can make better decisions and act better. Everyone wants to be such a person.