Goodbye

Goodbye!

It is difficult to say goodbye to someone or something you love. It is a strain on the feelings and to those of us who feel and allow emotions to flow freely, there is a certain sad sweetness when we say goodbye. What is referred to here is when we say goodbye permanently or semi-permanently; that is when we do not expect to see the person soon or perhaps ever again. When we grow to love someone we form wholeness with that person; when we say goodbye, that wholeness is broken and it is as if a part of us is wrenched away.

The hardest situation in which to say goodbye is when we are bidding farewell to a loved one who has gone from this world. Wakes and funeral rites were probably formulated so that we can make this goodbye emotionally tolerable. A great deal of holiness is thrown over the related rituals, which appear to be formulated in order to honor the departed one and to ensure his or her place in the next world. Putting aside such beliefs, we see that the rituals were probably created so that we can console ourselves when we say goodbye. Alas, the consolation is probably short-lived. When the rituals are in process and the goodbyes are said in all seriousness, those of us involved manage to hold back the tide of sadness and tears. These burst out usually when the rituals are over and stark reality- that we will never see our beloved again- thrusts itself on us. Such goodbyes are heart wrenching indeed.

Breaking up with someone who has been a beloved over a period of time is another sad goodbye. Some of us are “old-fashioned” enough to put in our all into a relationship. It is really devastating when we realize that the other party to the relationship has been frivolous about it and has been restraining him or herself. It is even more devastating when the relationship has been strong on both sides and when we have to break up because of circumstances; as in the case when one party leaves the country for good because his or her parents decide to emigrate. Often in such cases, there is a possibility that the goodbye marks the end of a stage of life and the beginning of another. Also, we may often see the person we are saying goodbye to again. However, the situation is not the same. For example, when a close friend or neighbor leaves for another neighborhood, it is possible to continue seeing the neighbor, but it is the same thing? Can we still be as close? Can we exchange food? Can we smell the cooking of each other? The answer is “Certainly not without special effort.” The goodbye here is to a person as well as to a certain lovable situation.

It is true that goodbyes are just another way of saying “see you again soon”. Naturally, in such cases goodbyes are nothing to fuss about. But “real” goodbyes are painful if not devastating. Yet there is sweetness about it all that we cannot explain.