Grandparents

Many of us are fortunate to have grandparents close by at the time that we are born. In fact when our mothers become pregnant to bear us, no doubt they must have turned to their parents, our grandparents, for advice and assistance. This is probably because our parents were young .and needed someone to hold their hands; someone who had been there before. Undoubtedly, most of our parents would have depended on their parents at that crucial time. Following this, during our childhood too, our grandparents would have been there at the side of our parents to help bring us up when we were infants. Needless to say, we owe much to our grandparents.

The attitude of helping to look after ones grandchildren is only present in members of the human race. No other known animal on the planet seems to have this particular trend. Strangely also, the tradition of grandparents playing an important role in the birth and upbringing of grandchildren seems to be a universal trend among humans. Just like the fact that the best arrangement for couples in the human race is to be together for life, subject to divorce not taking place, grandparents too must be an outcome of evolution. It is probable also that through the five million years of mans existence on this planet; we have found that having grandparents around is the best thing. The origins of tradition are lost in oblivion, but we may be sure that they are founded upon what is practical; usually after several experiments. In this way, the idea of grandparents remaining close to us has been found to be a blessing.

All of us know that grandparents are symbols of wisdom; they speak from experience and tell us how to go where they have been. They may not be up to date in matter of science and other branches of knowledge, but they would have been though the 'school of hard knocks'. They are usually experts at relationships. Many of us have learn at their knees that have saved us pain in later life. It is grandparents who tell us that though money and other symbols of wealth are nice to have, the real values in life are the non-material kind. They themselves have probably discovered this through a lifetime of pain and sorrow. We often see them trying to make up to their children - our parents - for their having been strict, perhaps even unkind, to them when they were young. As it often turns out, they often try to parent us to try to make up for the mistakes they made in parenting their own children. Being thus close to them, many of us who listen to them are saved the pain of making the- same painful mistakes.

It is unfortunate that, as part of the modern lifestyle, we are losing contact with our grandparents. It is just not wise at all, but it is happening all around us, that after five million years of evolution, we are now discarding some of the more beautiful aspects of being a human. Pushing grandparents out of the scene is out of them. Many of them are being exiled in old folk's homes; where being deprived of something useful to do and of being loved and wanted, they waste away to early ends. One can only hope that the trend will be reversed; if not for the sake of our grandparents - for the sake of the wisdom they have to offer all of us.

When a new committee is elected for an organization, a wise organization ensures that either the chairperson or the secretary of the retiring committee sits on the new committee. The reason for this is obvious: there needs to be continuity. When the new committee runs against a snag, the members from the old committee will usually be happy to share their experience. The case is similar with grandparents. They-ensure that there is continuity in the family. They, are the links to the past. They remember when life was simpler and can belt out advice based on experience rather than theory. Whereas, knowledge on all sorts of technology is available from books and consultants, such simple things like when to rush a woman to hospital for delivery is known only through experience. Grandparents are adept at this type of knowledge.

Grandparents Activities

Grandparents are the guardians of wisdom. What they are able to share with the younger generation – such as their grandchildren - is the wisdom of having been there and having done that and gained from it. In my own experience it was my grandfather who taught me that there was more to life than watching TV I learned that reading is a fascinating pastime from my grandfather. My father hardly reads at all. Also from my grandfather I learned to enjoy the classics. I also learned to love nature because the old man had the time and the patience to take me on long hikes and show me that trees were not just trees. If not for anything else, in Singapore at least, grandparents often act as parent replacements. Most of our parents are usually too busy earning a living to do anything else for us. Lucky indeed are individuals who grow up with at least one set of grandparents.

Though I have often seen my parents treating my grandparents as if they were children to be taken care of, I have often seen my parents - especially in moments if stress - depending on them. The time my sister gave birth to her first offspring comes to mind. My sister was in pain; my mother panicked and called my grandmother - not the doctor. My father just clasped his hands and prayed. My grandparents arrived within minutes. I could see the relief on my parents' faces. Immediately the old timers took over. My grandfather reassured my father that all would be well. My grandmother put her arms around my mother to assure her that she was there. Then she went to my sister and took her by the hand. Straightaway, my sister seems to sense that all would be well. My grandmother began to time the abdominal convulsions. "The baby will born by morning," she announced. Then my brother-in-law started his car. At the hospital waiting room, though we were all there, it was on my grandparents that everyone depended. Somehow we all felt that since they were there, all would be well. As predicted, my niece was born at 3:00 a.m. My grandmother smiled smugly and hugged everyone.

In any organized society, it is the older people who are in charge. The younger and more energetic ones may be the ones who get things done, but the elders hold the reins of power. This is true in so-called ‘primitive’ societies as well as in powerful countries with organized government. Many world leaders are grandparents or at least people who are older. This is an indication that wisdom - not knowledge alone - is required for effective leadership.